Inside my Heart

I want you to get a glimpse inside my heart... so here is a journal entry from last night:

January 24, 2011

Praise the Lord that He is relentless in pursuing our hearts! Thank You, Jesus, that though I clothe myself with immorality You clothe me with righteousness. Thank You that You gently whisper "Go and sin no more" with immense tenderness, and are longing, waiting to pour out mercy. You are patiently waiting with a smile...

Julie, I just want to be merciful to you. I just want all of your heart. I just want you. I am only waiting for you to return to my open arms...

Why do I replace You so happily and easily with something so far inferior to the magnificent lover that You are? Why do I rush so quickly to a tangible love and neglect my Lover simply because I do not readily feel, see, and sense Your presence? Faith is the assurance of what is hoped for, the conviction of what is not seen (Heb. 11:6). How easily I forget to have faith. Turning to this present love is really nothing more than a lack of faith. It is a disbelief in the ability of God to satisfy my desires. It is an abandoning of trust in Him to be my all in all -- more than enough. Forgive me, Father. Give me a repentant heart, which remembers who You have called me to be, and walks out in that knowledge.

You have been putting all the pieces together over the last couple days, and I am finally seeing them. Today a friend stopped me at school to tell me he had been fasting and praying for me because he had a strong burden that he couldn't shake, and wanted to know if I was okay. I was, I told him, but then he said that God was jealous for me.


I know God is jealous for me... I've been ignoring His whispered pleas to return to His presence, but I am hearing them now....

Livin' it up @ the Life Center!

Hey friends!

So after three long weeks, I finally made it back to the Life Center in downtown Minneapolis to work with my precious kiddos!! Oh how I missed them! It was fabulous being back with them all. Usually they have homework that I help them with, but this week they hadn't brought any, so we passed the time coloring, playing Legos, and putting together puzzles. I enjoy the time I get to just hang out with them, loving on them and asking them questions about Jesus.

This week I asked them if they loved Jesus, and how they show Him that they do. We talked about obedience to God and and how that is what He asks of His children (who cares if they're only 6, 7, and 8 years old--they're old enough to understand and be challenged to love God!). One thing I enjoy doing for them is drawing pictures--they love it when I draw for them and often beg me all at once--and I'll write for them a simple message like "Jesus thinks you are beautiful, Halle", or "Emmy, you are loved by God!" Who knows how those pictures--hung up on the walls of their bedrooms (or so they tell me)--speak to their hearts.

Here are a few photos taken this week of my darlin's! From top to bottom: Tyrone, Emmy, Halle, and Kaya (with Jayquon in the background)


Blessed beautiful children--beloveds of the Lord! Please pray with me -- for their home lives to be peaceful, and places where they can truly grow in Christ; for their hearts to be receptive to the Lord; for a deep love and passion for Christ that would drive them to lose their lives in Him and for the sake of the Gospel. He wants their hearts!

Rejoicing Always,

Jules

Back to Business!

Seven days and fifteen freshmen later, orientation week is over! We had 15 fabulous students join our ranks at BCOM this week, and now it's time to get back to classes! Friday was our first day of class after arriving back at school a week ago to help out during freshmen orientation. As a sophomore I am currently taking The Suffering Church, and I'm really excited to learn more about... well how do I put this? I'm not excited to see how much persecution Christians are undergoing, but I am excited to see the Lord soften my heart toward the persecuted Church and give me more of burden to pray on their behalf as the Scripture tells us to.

Things I'm looking forward to this week:

• going back to the Life Center to see my kids after 3 weeks of being away!
• class!
• one on ones with my girls... and continuing to see growth there. (Please keep praying for me... I need wisdom and boldness for confrontation and to know how to best direct them.)
• learning to die to myself daily (pray for me there too...)
• hopefully seeing my best friend again this weekend woohoo!

Please pray that these next four months would truly be set apart for the Lord's work. They will be my last 4 months on this campus until after my internship and I want to make the most of them! Also, pray for unity for my internship team--that we would begin to work well together now. I am so blessed to be in this place and I do not take a moment of it for granted.

Rejoicing always,

Jules

Single Digits Doesn't Stop Me!

Enjoying a pleasant (and cold.... 9*) winter morning

A Sailing Story

Once upon a time, there was a sailboat—just a small sloop with a headstrong foresail and a spunky mainsail. She was a determined little boat, plowing through the sea with a cheerful but stubborn attitude, often going where she pleased without much concern to the feelings of other little boats in the water.

She had a sweetness about her that came through at times, and she wasn’t afraid to love. She wore her emotions on her sails and gave herself freely to most anyone who would come along. This little boat—Lizzy was her name—at first enjoyed following in the wake of boats that had gone before her, but soon found it unexciting and quite the drudgery in fact. She soon broke off to form her own path in the bluewaters, desiring to go places that none before her had gone, in an effort to find her own life as a little sailboat.

But Lizzy’s course was not always the wisest, and she often steered herself directly into rough waters. As was fore mentioned , she was an emotional little boat, and would quite often become attached to the likes of various other boats—mostly dinghies, and perhaps a yawl here or a ketch there—loving the attention they gave her when she shouted “ahoy!”. She would toss her line at them and haul them in with that sweetness that was referred to, only to cut the lines that bound them together and sail away, leaving those boats distressed and disillusioned, wondering what they had done wrong. In all reality, it was only Lizzy the sloop that had done wrong. She had no real intention upon settling down with any old small boat; she was looking for a schooner—with three sails, or maybe four—that she could soar off into the sunset with.

This was Lizzy’s life for a few years, claiming to know what she wanted, but giving herself to everything besides. She was often hurt and disappointed with herself, her spirits making their way down to the abyss after another case of thwarted love. She knew that to live a contented life she must make a change.

It took awhile for her to finally realize the full affects of her destructive behavior, and when she did it was much too late to redeem many of her past mistakes. However, Lizzy found that though she had made many blunders, there was still opportunity to do things right in the future. She decided to sail in a new wake—the wake of the One who always guided her with perfect faithfulness. She had abandoned His wake many times in the past to follow her own, but returned now to His, casting off her ways to discover the peace of sailing in His ways.

Now, sailing sweetly surrendered to her Captain’s navigation, Lizzy has cast her anchor upon the Rock of Ages and finds that it will take more than just a breeze to alter her course. She is stayed upon the One that cannot be moved, and finds that it is when she is anchored there that her sails are full of the wind of grace and she glides along the bluewaters of life with confidence in the One who guides her every motion. The waves of adversity cannot overtake her, and the tempestuous winds only cause her to stand stronger. So whether she turns to port or to starboard, she hears the voice of her Captain calling her back to His course on the ocean of life, and it is there that she flourishes.

This story is dedicated to my wonderful brother, Ryan, and to the work that the Lord has accomplished in my life.