At the Crossroads

It is these moments in life that are bittersweet. I'm on the brink of a new adventure -- in just one week I will be leaving home to live at school for another eight months. This is a time that I know will challenge me and grow me in ways that I would not experience growth if I remained at home with my family. I am very excited about what these next few months will bring, and I'm eager to live them with purpose, seizing each and every divine moment. On the other hand however, I am leaving home. Last night (and this whole summer really) I enjoyed beautiful moments with my family... basking in their love and laughing till I cried. It is those times in my life that remind me of what is really important, and I am rebuked for all the time I have wasted on worthless things when I could have been pouring into the lives of my family and receiving blessing.

So I am at a crossroads which I almost prefer not to find myself standing at. In walking forward I am seizing one thing and letting go of another. I know what I am missing when I am away from home and it makes my heart ache. Yet when the Lord has called me forward what can I do but walk forward and remember that "If I must go, things I trust will be better off without me" (Caedmon's Call)? God has ordained and purposed that I be away from my family at this time -- probably as much for their good as for mine, in whatever mysterious way the Lord works. I trust Him, and so I take leave.

Already, I know I have greater adventures awaiting me at Bethany than I originally thought. As of last Friday I have decided to step into a role a great responsibility: I am going to be a mentor for the incoming freshman class. The dean at my school called me on Wednesday asking me to consider stepping into this position, and I have agreed to do so -- after much prayer and consultation of my many advisors! I will have a cell group of 7 freshman girls that I will meet with one-on-one once a week and also lead as a group weekly as well. My heart is thrilled at this opportunity; it is something I have dreamed of doing since I was in middle school. I will be able to disciple this group of young women and perhaps have great impact in their lives during this school year. I know my mentor last year at school played a huge part in my spiritual growth. So I am excited at the idea, but also know that it will be a huge responsibility to lead these girls, manage my own classes, and be in a serious relationship all at the same time. Yet I know that He who calls me is faithful, who also will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24)! Without the Lord, I am not confident at all that I can do this, but with the Lord I know that I do nothing on my own and that He will use me in the lives of my girls and use them in my life too! It is an exciting prospect.

So at this moment, looking at my last week home before I embark on a new adventure, I am making one decision, and that is to hold on to the hand of my Savior with all my might, and to hold loosely to the things that are fleeting. It is all I can do -- I am declaring my dependence on Christ.