As dearly as I love to write, the last 6 months have been some of the quietest of my writing life. It's not that there has been no inspiration; it's just that sometimes inspiration manifests itself in living life rather than writing about it. The last six months have been full of dreams, and full of reality. I've learned more about myself than I ever thought possible (isn't it funny how sometimes we think we've learned all there is to know about ourselves?). I've been up, down, inside out, a wreck, a joy-filled beauty, and all in all, by God's grace--still His daughter and friend.
Life is good.
As a writer, I journal often. Not enough, but more often than never. Sometimes I like to look back on my journal from the previous year and read the entry I wrote 365 days ago. I did that tonight, and found this...
First, context. I was living in Thailand, studying and working. If you've followed any of my journey from the last year, you understand what I was experiencing to a point (if not, go read the archives). In this particular journal entry from July 15, 2012, I was considering the men in my life and the men in the society around me...
It is moments like this when it seems next to impossible that there could be a man who walks worthy of his calling in Christ that could walk alongside of me. Though it is something I dearly want, I am almost past the point of praying for that man to come, because I feel more and more that it is more likely that I will walk solo on this journey. "Though none go with me, still I will follow". My life has been consecrated to Christ, and He is the one I will pursue -- no matter what.
Now, a year later, I sit with a ring on my left hand, having given my word to marry the man who has loved me almost as long as he has known me. In less than 6 months, Lord willing, I will be a married woman -- the wife of a man who does walk worthy of his calling in Christ. And I cry thinking about it--about the goodness of God that He would see fit to give me such a good gift. I am undeserving. Though I almost lost faith that God could provide a man to walk alongside of me--and for me to walk alongside of--He has still seen fit to grant the desire of my heart.
This line from the old hymn has been in my mind and heart all day long.... "All I have needed Thy hand hath provided."
Great is Thy faithfulness.
