A Jar of Clay

I watched the bright orange sun fading into the western smoggy sky today as I drove home—wishing I were in a tall building somewhere to watch its decent, rather than driving and supposed to be paying attention to the road. I pondered the fact that I was watching the sunset while driving a motorbike in Thailand, and considered how unlikely it is that this is my reality. Little Julie—shy, stay by mommy's side little Julie—lives in Thailand, and works daily with prostitutes in the bars. It's not that now I'm adventurous and brave and some kind of super-person. Over the years I've grown and matured; I've changed from what I used to be into what I am now. But I still daily breathe a prayer for courage, and ask for help and wisdom. I don't know what I'm doing, I just follow One who does. That's all.

I still cry at night when I miss home. I miss the protection of my daddy. I would rather eat pasta than rice. I struggle. I fight. But I'm learning to count the cost of following my Jesus, and I'm finding that it is so sweet to just trust Him.

Tonight is quiet, and I'm quieting my heart as well. “Don't be afraid. Stand firm and see the Lord's salvation He will provide for you today... The Lord will fight for you. You must be quiet.” (Exodus 14:13,14)