Last night was awesome in the red-light district. After seriously struggling for the last several days with the meaning of love and how to love, the Lord reminded me that I don't need to understand love, I just need to act. Just move, just speak, just smile, and He will do the work. God hasn't called me to understand, He has called me to ACT. With that knowledge, I went out into the bars with a renewed expectation that the Lord was going to love through me, and I think He did.
My teammate and I headed to a particular bar that the Lord had impressed on my heart. I had been there once before a couple weeks ago, but had not returned to talk with the girls I met there. We ended up spending the rest of the night with a girl who I'll call O -- 21 years old, beautiful, and such a sweetheart. I spoke to her as much as I could in Thai, but we mostly just played games and laughed together. I asked her if she liked working there -- her answer was no, and she looked sad. She didn't want to be there, and by the end of 2.5 hours you could tell by the look on her face that she was very glad and grateful that we had spent that time being her friend and regarding her as a valuable person rather than an object. I realized part way through the night that my heart was filled with love toward her. I wanted to take her away from the bar and just be her friend -- laugh with her, show interest in her heart and not just her beautiful body, have an adventure with her, go shopping with her -- let her live like a 21 year old girl should. And of course, introduce her to the One who can heal her heart -- my beautiful Jesus.
I think slowly I will learn what love really means.
A vessel to pour from His bounty are you. Hmmm :) Yoda olda Papa
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